Posts Tagged ‘single’

Thirty-two is full of serendipity. Floating wisdom that sprinkles down at moments that matter. Time to stand in the kitchen to swirl around at the freedom I feel by confidence and singledom. 32 is planned with a structure fleeting at the drop of a dime with free-minded friends strolling through prestigious towns and bumping into moments that change my life. It’s beauty in captured, unexpected moments. Relationships deepened and secure. It’s grand… 32 is grand without the luxury that I ever thought I’d end up having. It’s organic and real, harsh and intricately beautiful. Providential and loving. 32 is totally me.


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Yesterday was, up until around the hour of the breakup, 6 weeks. And guess what I was doing last night? Playing my first gig with my first “real” band.  🙂

I am completely comfortable being alone and enjoy my company. I am very surprised at this. Isn’t this supposed to take longer? Is it because I’ve been through a hell of a lot worse and so that makes this seem like baby cakes? That’s my best guess. No matter what you would choose… when you go through very trying times in life it shapes you into a different person capable of different processing, strength, and resilience.. really for better or worse.

I am grateful. Maybe people that really know me and my thoughts might get tired of hearing how grateful I am about things, but I have so many things I’m grateful for. And I’ve noticed gratitude really must be tied to resilience level.

I am not concerned about finding a life partner. The exact feeling and thoughts in my brain are something along the lines of “I’m happy being with me and I don’t really have any worry one way or the other about if I end up settling down with someone or even having kids.” I can only imagine this is because I have really started to love myself. I take care of myself and think about taking care of me in the future, not about having to find someone else.

This is a new life for me. But I can feel it is with the same ol’ me. I just love myself and really get it now.

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