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Archive for October, 2013

Thirty-two is full of serendipity. Floating wisdom that sprinkles down at moments that matter. Time to stand in the kitchen to swirl around at the freedom I feel by confidence and singledom. 32 is planned with a structure fleeting at the drop of a dime with free-minded friends strolling through prestigious towns and bumping into moments that change my life. It’s beauty in captured, unexpected moments. Relationships deepened and secure. It’s grand… 32 is grand without the luxury that I ever thought I’d end up having. It’s organic and real, harsh and intricately beautiful. Providential and loving. 32 is totally me.

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This has been the theme of my life after making good decisions with guys. And the watching of the new door opening is NOT a new guy coming into my life.  😉

I went through a very tough breakup in July as I blogged about in previous posts. This relationship came to a slow painful wind down over months and then to a screeching halt in a matter of a week. During that time, an opportunity presented itself to become a part of a great and talented band. The week that I found out I made it was the same week that I had to break up with him. This band was my saving grace and my driving force to help me through my recovery.

I went out on 5 dates with a guy that I thought had great potential with me. We had good times together taking things slow and just relating/hanging out. By the fifth date, however, I knew that he was not right for me. There were red flags, some that would have been avoided had he been completely honest on his dating profile. For instance, he said he was a nonsmoker, but he actually does smoke sometimes. My original search on that dating website wouldn’t have included him if he’d put that he does smoke. I’m a singer for crying out loud… I can’t deal with trying to escape that. Also, there were just things about his demeanor that turned me off and I couldn’t do anything about that either. So today I had to let him down gently. It was sad because he is a nice guy and he treated me exceptionally well. I enjoyed being loved on by him and he is sweet. But it was the right thing to do and the right time. He deserves to know as soon as possible so he can keep searching for the one for him. It made me sad today because I don’t like hurting people. Later today, I got an email from my talented choir director at the church I love asking me if I would want to become a cantor at the church!! I will be going through full training for it!  My sadness turned to joy.  🙂

THESE are doors closing and opening. At the right times. This is when I see God’s beauty. I see his mind-blowing providence for me who He loves. When I walk in truth, I meet His divine plans for me.

Thank you, God! You are astounding.

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Oy… dating.

It can’t be too much to expect a man to call rather than text all the time, right? It’s 2013 you say. But shouldn’t that make doing the stuff of the good ole’ days even more rewarding for guys to do (good guy and loser alike)?

I’m just not going to settle for something that makes me uncomfortable. I’m going on my fourth date with this guy on Friday and not once has he picked up the phone to call. Maybe because… he simply hasn’t had to. He could hide behind the phone because I responded to his texts in a positive way.

Well, I already changed that with another guy. He asked me out through text I and I said yes. He asked me if Saturday was good. I said, “That sounds great. I’ll be free to talk on the phone about the details tomorrow or later this week if you want to call. Hope you’re having a great night!”

Basically this was my dating GPS “recalculating.” And we will see if the guy can take us in the right direction.

I’m just not going to settle for anything questionable anymore. And it’s my job to communicate. So even on Friday, I’ll find a way to figure out in a very creative and light way why he doesn’t call. Or either I’ll make it clear that I’d rather hear his voice during the week rather than just texts because it creates false intimacy. And we will see what happens.

I won’t settle.

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