Archive for January, 2013

I have PTSD. I dread writing this post. My last post was in May 2012 so as you can see blogging is not really my thing. Sigh.

I’m doing this because I’m trying to take care of myself. To talk through things. I’m in therapy; I have been for over 2 years. I went through a divorce and started going to therapy one month before my ex and I separated┬ábecause I knew I wasn’t doing well mentally.

I’m in a relationship now and we just celebrated our one year anniversary last weekend. We’ve known each other since October 2011. I love him. But my PTSD is causing a lot of problems in our relationship. I don’t know why he stays with me. I know that he loves me comparably to anyone who has loved me the most in my life. He is stable. He’s strong.

The last time I saw him I felt for the first time that there was a sort of thin wall in front of me. I couldn’t feel things with him like I always have. This was the first time. I’m terrified it won’t be the last. I’m so scared this PTSD is going to ruin me and us.

Somebody please give me encouragement and support. My reactions scare me. Have you had PTSD? Mine is from my bad marriage where the person I was with cheated on me numerous times, yes, but also was suicidal and cut himself.

Any encouragement is welcome.


Read Full Post »