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Archive for January, 2010

I used to be that type of girl who put her faith on display

I seemed to need the reaction of others to make it all OK

Until I went through something horribleĀ andĀ  it woke me up

“Hello down there, life is here. Don’t try to shut it up.”

So over the year I became real and saw, yes, God does exist

But he doesn’t take over my own will or rule with an iron fist

“Oh vey” I say when think about the foolishness I did

But then if I hadn’t gone through that, this me would not exist

Oh the pain of youthfulness and it’s embarrassing life lessons

Oh the clean up of the wars and silly, stupid messes

But here I am better than I know I was before

Knowing really life will always be like this and more

Growing past the lessons learned and better for them, true

But if alive at 85 I’ll be “youthful” then too

I’ll never have it figured out and have everything behind me

Quite frankly if I did then why would I need God beside me?

So here I am just simply wiser than before

Choosing to live knowing I need God forever more

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Chameleon

She loved him so much
It made her skinny
Bones in her wrists and veins stick out pretty
A whole new wardrobe with his money she bought
Out with her friends she doesn’t eat a lot

oh oh oh when will she see
Changing yourself like a chameleon isn’t free
You can’t be real and have high regards
In a life full of masks and ignoring your heart

Self justification is a powerful thing
It’ll keep you blind to what freedom really means
You have to find a reason to make everything OK
While scars pile on your heart leading to decay

She’s playing out roles she knows she is not
Playing mommy to kids and now a wife she is not
She gave her whole self to this one man
Without any commitment her heart’s in his hands

oh oh oh when will she see
Changing yourself like a chameleon isn’t free
You can’t be real and have high regards
In a life full of masks and ignoring your heart

I’d like to give her advice from her own heart
That spoke unabashedly before her integrity was bought
“I don’t see why people settle,” she said
Talking about relationships with boys & husbands in the end
“What happened to her?” I ask myself now
“Did she just get tired of waiting or worse..lazy?”
My heart aches for hers and the life she has
But all I can do is love her in ways she understands

oh oh oh when will she see
Changing yourself like a chameleon isn’t free
You can’t be real and have high regards
In a life full of masks and ignoring your heart

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